Depression is a Bitch

There is a stigma about mental health.  If you are depressed, people want to stay away from you and there MUST be something wrong with you.  In 2009, there was an estimated 40 million Americans diagnosed with depression.  That is one in twenty.  1 in 20!!!  This is a prevalent disease that affects so many of us and we, the depressed are "normal" and should not be ashamed.

What are the signs of depression?  Feelings of emptiness, extreme sadness - more than the blues that are temporary, you can't sleep or sleep too much, you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult, you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try, you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating, you are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual, you’re consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior, you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case). 

There are therapists you can talk to, loved ones, there is medication....I have found that it takes a while to figure out which medication works best for you, and there are some side effects of the wrong medications for you.  I was on Neurontin for depression and for my seizures.  I started thinking these really bad thoughts that eventually progressed into suicidal thoughts.  I spoke to my doctor, and in order to get off of the medication, which they didn't know it was causing my suicidal thoughts, you have to be monitored.  So I was admitted into the mental hospital.  I had a HORRIBLE experience there, and I will never go to Metroplex Hospital in Killeen, TX again for mental health needs.  If you know me, you know that I have some trauma in my past.  I eventually got off of Neurontin, and then was put on Geodon.  If you are a Blue October fan, you know what that medication did to Justin.  I was a total zombie, and eventually was seeing my face as something I couldn't look at and stopped the medication on my own - I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THAT, ASK YOUR DOCTOR!!!

In the end, I found out that I'm okay, there are a lot of depressed people out there, there are a lot of people with PTSD.....so if you are struggling - know that you are not alone and there is help.